MEMORIES!

Memories
Run wild in my mind
Tormenting my sanity
Poking my assertiveness
Daring my decisiveness

Memories
Make me sad
Try to push me
To second guess my decision
To question my certainty

Memories
Bring back emotions
Making my heart heavy
With an overwhelming feeling of sadness
And a mild sense of doubt

Memories
Make me want to sleep
In my room with the curtains closed
With no light penetrating
With no sense of life

Memories
Makes me want to shut out
Every feeling
Every thought
Every emotion
That could still be hovering in sight

Memories
Make me want to grow cold
To every sensation
To every possibility
To every hope
That come my way

Memories
Make me question my own existence
Make me question my whole life
Make me question my ability to learn
From my failures
From my mistakes

Memories
Make me wallow in despair
Make me sink in pain
Make me drown in tears
Make me sink in agony
Make me stagnate in grief

Grieving over failed dreams
Grieving over a failed marriage
Grieving over wasted years
Grieving over wasted emotions
Grieving over a broken heart
Grieving over a wasted love

Memories
Make me stare blankly into thin air
My mind in a turmoil
My thoughts wandering in the vicinity
Leaving me in a daze
Then the wave of self pity dawns

It camps in my home
Inviting self blame
They do a number on me
Memories
If only I did not have them!